81 There you are “starving,” aching with hunger, can hardly wait to eat … and then, of a sudden, your child must eat before you, must eat your meal. And what do you do? You forego yourself for your child, because your love for her precedes love of yourself. And your suffering is gone; you are gratified, grateful, that your child is attended to. Yes, you will be “starving” again – you might even take a morsel of her food – but your love for your child has universalized you beyond your self into another self; and in so doing, you become as Love purely.
82 To break the seemingly never-ending cycle of acting on impulse — that is to be our life-long struggle to minimize to an almost zero-point; and the word Love is with us in divine support to win that good fight.
83 Good fellowship:– I wave to him from across the street. He waves back with a smile; he, a trash disposal worker, and I an educator. Worlds apart; yet I feel a wonderful glow of oneness with him.
I am he
as you are he
as you are me
and we are all together
– I am the Walrus / Lennon-Beatles
84 That I am last and he is first; that he eats the most delicious morsel, and I the lesser; that he prospers and I simply “get on.” Well, that’s fine; I’ve got my Love divinity to keep me going, to keep me ahead.
85 The first-pain-then-pleasure-then pain syndrome: ̶ First you’re in pain for release (emotional, sexual, gustatory, etc.), then the pleasure, rush, of release (the object of desire, lust, etc attained); then the pain of release (regret, guilt, remorse, etc.). When you realize that much of the first-pain-then-pleasure-then-pain pattern of your habitual excesses result from the psychological emotions of boredom, or vanity, or guilt, or anxiety, or frustration, or failure, or rejection, and whatever else, then you realize further what formidable opponents you are up against; and that what else can you do but give way to these excesses. At best, from a wisdom standpoint, this situation should give one pause before he judges the doings of others, knowing that he himself falls into his own entanglements. “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” And at best, from the standpoint of our Love divinity, this realization should also give us pause to transform ourselves as best we can out of this treadmill cycle of ours. Of course, there are a multitude of books and articles, and psychological therapies, and religions, and philosophies, to help us out of this cycle, which help here and there, for a time; and perhaps moreso overall than our condition would be otherwise. The reason for our inconsistencies, our limitations? Because we can’t account for so many of our moods, needs, and wants. We wake up one morning just fine, and another morning just not fine. There is always something or someone countering our best intentions, our best moods, our best attempts. It’s like attempting to the do the right thing at all times, in all circumstances. It is impossible; we’re too inundated with right-or-wrong situations at practically every turn we make. We do the best we can, and continue the good fight, day in and day out. Always a struggle, always conflict every day.
And this is the inestimable value of our human-transcendent wisdom, that it keeps us balanced between what we can do and what we cannot do, however just and wise we may be, or want to be. It is a wisdom that keeps us balanced both humanly and transcendently, knowing our limitations that hedge us in to life. There is no way out consistently, and human-transcendence knows this and guides you through this truth with a fair share of good will, good faith, good times, and in good spirits; come what may regardless of the opposites of these that assail us from here there and everywhere.
So, we have our human-transcendent wisdom to guide us through the storm and stress of living; and we have our Love (kind of) religion to turn to inwardly to free us away from this storm and stress. And the more we turn to these two gems of our life, the more habitually we will turn away from The first-pain-then-pleasure-then-pain syndrome. Remember Love! And remember, too, strife!; it is there always either in the background or the foreground of our life. Do we go to wreck or do we go to freedom ̶ self-freedom?
86 The inner cry of the delicate mind: “Don’t be harsh with me … please; your words and eyes wound me!” And the Love warrior knows this and overcomes his self-righteousness.
87 His humanness incites him to want to make his little sarcastic, snide, remark to her to make his point, to wound her a little, to make her aware that “I know what’s going on”; His transcendence, however, prompts him to “hold back” and let it go.
88 There is no stopping those rare “instinctual” (‘over the edge’) outbursts of rage against another with us vulnerable humans, justifiable or not; The only hope we have is that when they happen, we are so attuned to the presence of our Love divinity that we are able to stop ourselves in time with the iota of sanity left to us in such occurrences.
89 He/she is the Love warrior who initiates the easing of brooding tension between himself and the other person when right and wrong is at stake. Even if she is in the wrong? Of course; unless betrayal, or some other matter just as serious, is the issue. In that case, the relationship, as it had been, has changed drastically; and total reconciliation is hardly possible. The tension remains, either overtly or covertly. There are people we are to stand our distance from, to protect our dignity, our well-being, if not sanity.
90 Why war with others? War with ourselves! Don’t we have enough in ourselves to war against? Let us use the weaponry – wisdom – of Love to win our good fight daily … as best we can.
91 “Make love not war.” Sound familiar? Let me expand its erotic connotation with the words: make love your way of life not war. If you’re going to make war than make it with yourself so that Love is you as warrior against the war in others.
92 Don’t allow another person’s calculated down mood take you down with it. Lift yourself above it by chanting to yourself over and over again Love, Love, Love. Or sing it to Lennon’s Love songs: “Love Is All You Need,” “The Word,” “Love.” Let their lyrics put a smile, if not on your face, then in your mind.
93 Let Love have its say
Do for you
And brighten your day.
94 An then inevitably comes the day when the word, the sense, the feeling, of Love has no meaning to us nor influence on us at all, day after day. We’re in our dry period, that’s for sure. It mysteriously disappeared just as it mysteriously appeared, and mysteriously will reappear.. And then where are we? Not abandoned, because It will be back again; but emptied, forelorn; with no recourse to anything but ourselves; and we know that ourselves are not very reliable overall; especially with our habits and addictions, and the stimuli-response sensations and perceptions that we’re faced with almost daily. Humanly we are fairly much at the mercy of these all-too-human impressions. BUT! There is a way out of this impasse! And this is where the word and meaning of transcendence “saves the day.” Transcendence is the handmaid, so to speak, of Love; its stronghold when all else fails.
95 And just as enigmatically as Love left us, it slowly returns its grace in the same way — Unaccountably to us!
Closing Remark
A thought came to me last night [ March 2007]. For all my familiarity — and that is all it is, really: “familiarity” — and preoccupation with, Love and all its manifestations, over many, many years, in the end, I truly do not know what Love is; it remains for me so mysterious that I bow to It in my ignorance and in my reverence. But It is there…somehow!
The Love Testament 